Please disregard

I am pretty sure we have all done it before, you know, asked someone to (or assume that they will) disregard something we said, we wrote, we did or did not do; ordinary, garden variety things that happen on a daily basis, most of us generally disregard. (I think we also tend to take things for granted in the same context, like oh yeah, I totally said thank you to you for handing me that, holding the door, picking up my shoes, it was totally implied by my look/nod in your general direction.) So given that this is our daily existence, I find it hilarious that most people cannot disregard children misbehaving. As a Mommy, I have learned to disregard the looks of disdain when I am hauling Teddy out of a store as he screams at the top of his lungs because I would not let him throw each box of cereal into the aisle (yeah, I really don't hear it anymore, really). I also disregard the stares of people as I pick up that spoon he dropped on the restaurant floor and stick it back in his mouth, because, well, germs are a way of life and I believe in the 10, 20 and 30 second rule (whatever is appropriate applies).

The evidence of most disrgard is hidden-stares, sideways glances, etc. But not with a baby, no sir. No sooner did Teddy get his front two teeth than he promptly went around and chipped one of them. I mean really, seriously, how did that happen. Oh, it could not possibly be because he puts EVERYTHING in his mouth (everything is not an overstatement, if he touches it you can assume it's going in the mouth; door knobs, hands, TV controls, scent diffusers, vases, whatever it is will be tasted by Teddy). All I really know, and the facts here are not certain, is that I was making Memorial Day dinner and when I checked in on Teddy, I noticed that a tooth was chipped. Adrian saw nothing, heard nothing and said nothing. The next day the pediatric dentist said that if it's not lose or changing color then no worries. But, hello! I look like the worst mother who lets her 10 month old baby run around and eat things that break his teeth (side note: Teddy will put everything in his mouth except food, which is a mystery, especially to his porky mother).

Then there is the issue of visiting other people's homes who don't have a child Teddy's age. (Disclaimer: We have not really childproofed because I want to prepare him for the reality that life is not about being protected, oh, did I say that online, I mean, it's actually just for this situation, other people's homes are not like ours and "Teddy Ready".) So when we went down to visit my Mother, little, precious Teddy proceeded to break 2 vases in the first hour we were there. (He is fast at that crawling stuff.) I mean you turn and he is across the room, in the drawers pulling everything out. Or you put him down, switch the light on and it looks like a Tasmanian devil spun out of control. I just overlook these things, I mean broken stuff is the norm at my house, but I am super embarrassed when it happens outside our home.

So PLEASE DISREGARD any broken items that Teddy leaves in his wake. If I don't acknowledge that he broke it, just send me the bill. Please disregard that broken tooth, I really do watch him and try to pay attention, but he is fast. Please disregard if he hits you, pulls your hair or steals your toy. I cannot punish him just yet and he smiles with such love and affection when he gets his way that its just hard for me not to melt and forget he just ripped a handful of hair out. Please disregard any implications that it may have on our parental oversight capabilities because it is simply out of my hands.

I am going to work on disregarding people who shoot me death stares, don't hold the door when I am struggling with a stroller and look at me with those disapproving eyes. I am going to work on disregarding an invitation to compare stages of advancement of my child vs. their child because, well, that just cannot be good for anyone. I am also going to work on disregarding Teddy's crying just a little more when it serves my purposes...