Embrace the Crazy



Force of Nature would be an understatement



I think many can agree that raising a boy is just different than raising a girl, at least that is what I gather based on watching others.  These beautiful girls will eat all daintily, not get too messy, then play very sweetly.  Then there is Teddy.  We often must change clothes four times a day, plus change Teddy four times, then there is food all over the floor, not to mention what is all over the table.  (I have never tipped so much in my life, that is how bad I feel. You may hate us while we are there but I try to make up for that when you see the check.) When Teddy has a playdate, he plays dictator (autocrat, Prime Minister Putin, whatever) and decides what every child must play with and when, which does not include his toys, only the ones he deems appropriate for them, which is usually tennis (wracket) or Playdoh. (I am embarrassed to admit that I only recently discovered that Teddy loves Playdoh and chalk.  He is loves to draw circles on everything and we are working on other shapes, which he recognizes, but he only draws and talks about circles.)

The hiding spot to avoid time out

I have just gotten to the point where I am embracing the crazy, as in the crazy that comes from being the mother of a toddler, a toddler boy.  I feel like I never know exactly what those mischievous eyes are plotting and I turn around to find him climbing to jump from the dining room table (true story), trying to open the freezer to get a pop (what he calls his Popsicles, a huge bribery tool), taking his tennis racket and beating the life out of the couch, watching him find dead bugs and try to eat them (they are all spiders to him or ladybugs and he loves them all) or, the best yet, taking his pen and drawing all over our wedding photo album (seriously, he was drawing circles on his table and next thing I knew, he had his Daddy looking like a scribble pad in our one of a kind wedding album, lovely).  Like I said folks, I am going to embrace it.  I mean he wants to scream at the top of his lungs in Target, I just let him, I mean why try and stop him.  He wants to throw pasta on the walls, let me show you where to aim.  It is too much work to try and keep everything under control constantly.  Teddy has no attention span and this blog sums it all up nicely.  Don't get me wrong, I am not going to let him harm your child, ruin your carpets/walls/china, but I am just not going to try and harness the wind EVERY SINGLE TIME IT BLOWS.  I have a full time job, I am a wife (I am sure I am not doing nearly as good a job at being a wife either but I am trying) and I am doing my best to raise Teddy to be a polite, cheerful young man, but there is only so much room in the day for everything.  I also feel like at some point, helicoptering in to save him from every possible peril just will not serve him in the long run.  The other day Teddy kept hitting his head on a shelf he was trying to crawl out of and another parent tried to rescue him and I stopped him, because I am convinced the only way he is going to learn to do things (and/or not do others) is to hit his head a few times (and no, I am not talking about letting him seriously endanger himself or try drugs, that is where I draw the line) to figure out you don't try to stand up under a shelf that is shorter than you are.  (I also think that sometimes you have to fail before you figure out how to succeed, and while my philosophy may change at points, I will not be that parent who is bailing him out of everything and only paving the way with roses and gold.  I failed, was not picked for things, lost contests and had disappointments, each of which taught me something about myself and I think they all combined to make me who I am, for better or worse.  I am not saying I won't try to counsel him or teach him or maybe even save him if he really needs it, just that some lessons are better learned in defeat.)

So Teddy, my darling, you are going to have to hit your head, slam your fingers in the drawer, eat it when its too hot, spill the glass of water and fall a few more times to learn these lessons.  It does not mean I do not love you, because I will always be here to kiss the boo boo's and wipe away the tears, it just means that I want to let you learn by doing and not by me doing it for you. (And, point of fact, I do want more/better for you, which is why I am working so hard (and your Dad too) to make sure you have access to even more (if that is possible) than I had access to.  But my parents did not do everything for me and you will have a summer job (like I had), you will be polite and take cottillion (because I had to take those lessons too), you will get a bad grade and be upset (but I won't be mad at you or even disappointed if it was the best your could do) and you may not get selected for the sports team (I did not make the 4th grade basketball team but I went on to play Varsity in high school and even got ejected from a game (long story and I still contend that I did not do it)).  One day you will look back on each of these events and each of them will represent a decision you made, a change in your path or lesson you had to learn the hard way, and in some way, each of them will somehow play a part in your fate, whether that be a very adorable scar you always have to explain, your second choice of schools you go to and meet the girl of your dreams or the new hobby you pick up in place of another.  I always say things happen for a reason and you just have to wait for it all to work out. And the crazy part is that you may have no idea how it will work out or what great things will come from your failure, but I promise that with time, that failure will seem a blessing and the chance it gives you to move on to something else will be more rewarding than what you could have imagined.  My advice is don't get bogged down in the crazy, embrace it and embrace that you are part of a plan, a fate and a destiny--embrace them and you will laugh more, cry harder and relish the victories with the knowledge that it all will work out in the end. 

So, I am going to embrace the crazy and let nature take her course, that winding path with no apparent plan, but so masterfuly executed that it seems obvious in the end.