I have been blessed

So this is one of those posts to just say that I am blessed and I recognize that I have been a recipient of many good things in my life (family, friends, husband, baby, especially baby!). I was reading a post that a Chi O friend has on her blog (Masala Chica-she is hilarious, check is out) about her neighbor's son who is 1 day older than Teddy and is in the PICU with cancer. I just cannot even fathom dealing with that and I was reading about how that mom has 3 other kids at home plus a very sick baby that she cannot even hold most days because he has to take chemo and all the other bad stuff. (Okay, time for the truth, I cried when I read it and I am crying now as I write about it.) Perspective is a funny thing; everyone has their own and many times you fail to see another because your own is in the way.

I studied Buddhism in college (I know, totally bizarre for a gal from Lee County but I loved it) at the academic level and it was my minor concentration. I do think that reincarnation must exist in some way and that our loved ones come back to us in some form. I also believe in karma and that some people may not get what they deserve when I want them to but that somewhere their bank is drawing a negative that will bite them in the end. But what I don't understand is why people who are such good people, and why babies of all of God's creatures end up with these pernicious issues, and people like Osama Bin Laden or pedophiles or other truly terrible, evil people cannot get these cancers. As much as I believe in reincarnation and karma and God, I just cannot reconcile that a baby or my beloved Sandy R. deserves any of this. But then perspective hits me the head and says they don't deserve it and that they are fighting it and they are teaching me to cherish every minute with those I love, tell them I love them and let the little things go. I already feel guilty about being at work and not spending every minute with Teddy but I go down to daycare and his teachers love him so, and so maybe he is bringing them a little bit of joy also (and on a weird side note, his main teacher is from Johnson City originally--talk about a small world, fate was really working in our favor on this one!!!).

I am learning lessons all the time from my son and I am hoping that he is making me a better person, as well as a better mommy. If I have not said I love you to any of you recently, please know I love you and that I am working on saying it and showing it more often. I am grateful for a happy and healthy baby--what a true blessing. I am blessed with a husband who is likely a saint for having to deal with me (well, maybe that goes both ways and maybe that just proves we are meant for one another). I am humbled by all the love of family and friends who are family and their support. It means a lot to have people be so happy for you when things are good and be supportive when you need that too.